you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize