Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
