quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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