They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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