you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
