I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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