You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
