his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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