i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
