I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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