I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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