doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize