Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize