dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
