your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
