Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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