Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
