Reggie can tackle my bush.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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