You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
