Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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