You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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