O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
