Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
