physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I could fuck to npr.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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