so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
