Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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