Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
