I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need water and some morals
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
