You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
