Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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