Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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