are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
