Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
