I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
