I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
