I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize