i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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