I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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