last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
