My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
