I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
