Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
