I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
