i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize