Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
