I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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