Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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