I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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