She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
