I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
