she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize