that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
