I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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