im drinking this country out of the recession.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
