She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
