yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
