I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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